


Suburbia

by OnlyStraightForJongup



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, nosy people, small town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyStraightForJongup/pseuds/OnlyStraightForJongup
Summary: Youngjae just wants to write a few poems and win some prize money. Instead, he ends up fake-dating his ex's cousin, spending way too much time in a library, and giving Yongguk one hell of a crazy experience.





	Suburbia

**Author's Note:**

> I... don't know what this is but it happened and I had fun writing it so here we are

The tower of books tottered and tilted, and it didn’t take a seer to predict the next step: tumbling to the ground. One collided, face-down, flat in a way where the bang sounded twice as loud, and Youngjae’s face heated up as curious eyes rose to stare at him. They looked away quickly enough, just another day where Youngjae dropped something or other.

Jongup, who he’d vehemently hoped to not see, moved from behind his desk and joined him, taking part of the stack. “Lot of books today. Studying for something?” He had a mild, gentle voice, perfect for a librarian. 

Youngjae breathed a sigh of relief when Jongup didn't address his fuck-up. Considering he was currently dating Youngjae's ex, the conversation could’ve been much worse. 

“Nah, just personal interests.” Youngjae’s face turned a shade redder as he admitted it, not wanting Jongup to glance at the book titles. That was too much to hope for.

“Oh, do you write?” He had collected a pile of books all about poetry. Jongup set them down on a nearby table, where Youngjae would have enough room to work and an extra chair for his backpack.

“Not really,” Youngjae admitted. “But I want to get better.”

“You’d be good at it.” Jongup gave him an assessing look. “First time?”

Jongup made the newspaper every so often for winning some small writing contest. Though he wasn’t a bragger in any sense, their small town—village, technically, but that always brought to mind small stone houses and windmills turning through clean, blue water, so Youngjae preferred town—took whatever local news it could get. 

He shook his head. “I just suck at it.” Youngjae tapped his hand against the top of his chair, hoping Jongup would leave soon. He had nothing against him; he just wanted to get to work and to drive the persistent embarrassment away. 

“No one thinks they’re good when they write.” Jongup shrugged. “Who’re you writing for? Or what about, if that fits better?”

“Oh—uh—” Every website Youngjae had found said he needed some subject matter, but try as he might, he’d drawn a blank. Jongup's question didn’t clarify anything further. “I dunno, me?” 

“Self-insert?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No! I’m writing for me.” 

Jongup hummed. “Then what’s it about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Personal?”

“You know, just because you’re a librarian doesn’t mean you have to act like a nosy grandmother.” Youngjae didn’t mean to snap but _honestly._ At this point, he would've rathered Jongup to treat him coldly because of their whole dating-Youngjae's-ex situation.

“Stereotypes are fun sometimes. Besides, I’m only helping.” He meant that too, and well, he wasn’t wrong. Youngjae wasn’t known as the most social of people, but Jongup, though also quiet, liked to help people. Everyone knew that. Sometimes Youngjae hated living in a small town. 

Jongup still hadn’t looked away from him.

Youngjae rolled his eyes. “I’m writing for someone special.” Straight out of his ass, but he figured that was the best way to go. “As a—gift. I don’t know. It’s probably stupid.” His face turned red from the scattered response.

Jongup grinned and gave him a misplaced, knowing glance. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll stop pressing. Have fun writing about your boyfriend—and it’s not stupid, by the way. I bet he’ll like it.” 

“No—” 

But Jongup had already moved off.

Youngjae sighed. Wrong idea but he’d take it. At least Jongup had left, so he could pull his notebook from his bag and start working.

It began with ideas: primarily, subjects. Youngjae groaned and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t have anyone—anything—to write about. His blank notebook frowned up at him, and he flipped pages sporadically through the book.

He’d thought writer’s block came after you got an idea, when you wanted to get it on paper but couldn’t, but here he was, unable to write because of his blank head.

Perhaps this was payback for his admittedly selfish plans. Youngjae had heard of a writing contest recently, one that wanted three poems submitted for money prizes. He had a long shot at best at winning, but he could use the money from it.

In true Yoo Youngjae fashion, he’d puffed out his chest and assured himself he’d have a better chance of winning if he submitted something to it, but apparently, his blank page disagreed.

Youngjae was pretty sure they didn’t want a poem about how much he wanted the extra money. Shouldn’t he have something big about love or beauty or nature to say? He fiddled with his hands under the table, slouching in his seat.

Turning more pages, he came to a few brainstorming practices and resigned himself to doing them.

Writing was hard.

\--

“Jongup!” Daehyun whisper-yelled, jabbing his elbow hard into his side.

“Jesus, Dae. What is it?” He kept his eyes on his book only for Daehyun to firmly grab his shoulder and wrench him around to face the door. “Oh, damn.” 

It was rare for them to get people they didn’t recognize but even rarer for it to be a guy in a simple white t-shirt, showing off multiple tattoos on his arms. He had a small hoop earring in, and his black hair was parted to the side. Jongup averted his eyes, to avoid staring, and saw that Daehyun hadn’t had the same reservations.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” Daehyun said. 

“You’ll drive him off.”

“I’m only starting conversation.”

Jongup snorted. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“I’m hurt you think I’d only want to flirt with him, but that being said, he’s totally gay.”

Jongup squinted at him. “I don’t know…”

“You don’t get any input on these things,” Daehyun said. Jongup rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. When I first came back—”

“I know.” But there was no stopping him.

“—I flirted with you constantly, and like three fucking weeks later you were all ‘wait, you’re not straight?’”

Daehyun had grown up in the town, but he’d left for university. He’d graduated this past spring and had returned to help his family run the library. Jongup liked him, but well, not all of his avoidance had come from ignorance. Daehyun was a good friend, and that was that. He’d found it easier to ‘forget’ Daehyun was gay than to outright refuse him.

Jongup watched the new guy wander through the sparse shelves. “Hope we have what he’s looking for.”

But Daehyun couldn't be diverted that easily. “Good reason for a librarian to go check on him, right?”

And with that, he popped out from behind the counter, flashed Jongup a huge grin, and peered into a pane of glass to adjust his hair before approaching the guy. Jongup didn’t watch too obviously, but he couldn’t totally keep his eyes away.

He couldn’t hear them, but Daehyun showed him a shelf, laughed, and rested a hand on his arm when he sat down. Jongup thought he caught a glimpse of a wink, but then Daehyun’s shoulders slumped, obviously disappointed before he perked back up.

He returned to the shelves and brought back a few new books for the guy, dropping them off and heading back to join Jongup.

“Good news, bad news, or interesting news?” Daehyun asked, before he’d even gotten behind the counter again.

“Uh, his name? And why he’s here?”

“Yongguk, and Himchan’s his cousin. He’s from the city but wants the rural experience for a few weeks.” Jongup raised his eyebrows. He hoped Daehyun had put his own spin on Yongguk’s words. “But anyway, good news first: he’s definitely gay. Bad news: he’s got a boyfriend. Interesting news: he met his boyfriend through Himchan.”

Huh, that was interesting. “So it’s someone from here?”

“He’s also looking at writing books. I think we just met Youngjae’s mystery guy.” Daehyun looked mildly put out, likely because Youngjae hadn't told him about the guy before. Jongup wondered vaguely if he should try to comfort him, but he couldn’t even begin to bridge the gap between Daehyun and Youngjae. They would have to do that on their own.

Despite their problems, Jongup had shared the news of Youngjae’s boyfriend to Daehyun, mainly because they had nothing better to talk about, but he couldn’t deny he’d been curious about it. “It’s probably a coincidence.”

Daehyun scoffed. “No chance,” he said. “Who else could it be? Not us and better not be with Junhong. Himchan’s out ‘cause they’re cousins. And unless we’re counting, like Heechul in this, only Youngjae’s left.”

Perks of a small town meant knowing every single queer person within it, and well, Daehyun’s list was comprehensive. “Never know—there may be someone we don’t know about.” Jongup himself hadn’t come out until after he’d graduated high school, and though the news traveled quick, it had taken time to sink in to common knowledge.

Daehyun shook his head. “Oh, I know. I’m fresh blood.” He grinned. “Kinda. Everyone talks to me ‘since I only got back a while ago. I’m like the only interesting guy here.”

Jongup snorted.

“But really,” Daehyun said, not offended in the least. “Thoughts? That’s gotta be Jae’s dude. I mean like it’s that, or he’s dating Heechul and his thirteen cats.” Daehyun paused and stole another obvious look at Yongguk. He whistled softly.

Despite being less nosy, Jongup couldn’t deny he wanted to know more. Part of his curiosity about Youngjae’s boyfriend had come from the confused ‘who could it possibly be?’ in the back of his head. He ran Daehyun’s list through his head again.

“Huh. Guess you’re right. For once” 

Daehyun puffed out his chest, ignoring the end of the comment. He leaned against a counter, pressing a stack of books so it swayed and tipped off. Jongup helped him clean them up.

\--

Youngjae had nearly forgotten he’d lied about dating someone. He’d known Jongup wouldn’t know who it was, and he’d figured he’d let it fade away. Had it been Daehyun who asked him, well, he would’ve been more worried, but Jongup wasn’t too over-the-top. Youngjae had thought he’d be fine.

Famous last words.

He was in the best café in town, his notebooks spread out before him. Brainstorming had brought a couple vague, cliché ideas into his head, so he’d plowed forward. Now he had a small array of poem-pieces sprawled onto various pages.

He hated every single one of them.

Youngjae looked at the clock and groaned, pushing his hands against the table to lean his chair back onto two legs. The local high school would let out soon, and the café tended to be a normal hangout. 

They wouldn’t fill the place, but Youngjae didn’t want to deal with the loud voices. He collected his notebooks and slipped them into his bag. Throwing it back onto his shoulder, he took his empty mug to the front and left the quaint, darkly decorated shop.

Youngjae had been avoiding the library, in part because he was waiting for things to get awkward between him and Jongup, in part because he wanted to avoid Daehyun, and they’d switched hours around so Youngjae could no longer predict when he’d be working. Inconsiderate, really. Daehyun’s mother, who tended to only work in the early morning, was a kind, kind woman whom Youngjae liked much more, even though she insisted on inviting him to dinner like ‘old times.’

For today, and with the deadline weighing on him, Youngjae decided to suck it up and head in. As he opened the door, the small bell announced his presence to—Jongup. Eh. But then Daehyun turned the corner, and Youngjae averted his eyes. Fuck. Both of them, great.

Head down, he tried to hurry to his normal seat, only to freeze as he saw a guy he’d never seen before there. Youngjae’s eyebrows climbed up on his head, and he slid into a free seat at a different table. 

His chair squeaked against the ground, and the guy glanced up, despite his headphones. He smiled at Youngjae, polite and welcoming, before returning his gaze to his laptop. Youngjae tried to ignore the top of the tattoo poking out from under his shirt collar. He failed.

The library didn’t offer free wifi, so unless mystery man had managed to seduce the password out of Daehyun—which wouldn’t be that hard—he wasn’t on the internet. 

Youngjae wondered what he was doing. It wasn’t until tattoo guy glanced up again that he realized he may have been staring. “Sorry,” he muttered, his cheeks heating up. He looked back down, but the dude kept his eyes on Youngjae, who scattered his notebooks over the table to pretend he was working.

“Youngjae, right?”

His eyes snapped back up to mystery tattoo dude. “Do I—know you?” He was positive he didn’t.

“Probably not. Himchan’s my cousin. He showed me pictures of you a, uh, while back.”

Jesus Christ, why was everyone at this goddamn library either dating his ex, family of his ex, or Daehyun? It was time for Youngjae to move. Past time, really.

“Oh, that’s—oh.” Brilliant response, Youngjae. Thrilling. 

"I'm Yongguk." He smiled then paused at Youngjae's continuing surprise. “Sorry. I have a good memory for faces.”

Well, would’ve been worse if it had been Junhong’s family. At least his relationship with Himchan hadn’t been even close to recent, and they’d developed a decent friendship since.

Maybe the world hadn’t set up this library just to shit on his existence. Yongguk was nice to look at and seemed friendly enough.

“It’s fine, just caught me off guard.” He made an unsure laugh. “There’s not new people here very often.”

Yongguk nodded. “I figured. People keep staring.”

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Youngjae shrugged. “What brings you here though? Clearly, this isn’t much.” Sorry, Mrs. Jung, but it was true. The library had a lot of love and care in it but not a lot of resources.

“Himchan’s moving into the city with me. I wanted to see his town for a week or two before he left, you know? I’ve never really been to somewhere this—rural. It’s cool.”

“If you like corn,” Youngjae said. He rolled his eyes. "It's all we got.”

Yongguk surveyed him, the trail of his eyes almost burning Youngjae. He took a deep breath and warned his heart to calm the fuck down. “I like how everyone knows everyone. I don’t even know my neighbors.” 

“See you’d think it would be nice, but it’s just a constant stream of dating people you’ve known forever, breaking up, and then still being friends because the fuck else can you do?” He was rambling and cleared his throat to shut the hell up. Youngjae stole a small glance over at the circulation table and caught both Daehyun’s and Jongup’s eyes. 

Fucking hell. He averted his eyes.

Yongguk chuckled. Youngjae straightened in his seat and studiously avoided the circulation table. “That sounds like experience talking.”

“You have no idea.” He made a face. “I’m gonna move once I can.”

“What’s holding you back?”

“Money.” Youngjae shrugged. “Rent’s high, and I don’t have anyone to room with.” He had a job at a local diner, which paid at a decent rate, but well, it didn’t get too much business.

Yongguk hummed. “Same thing for Himchan. That’s why he’s living with me.”

“Damn, here I was gonna ask if you wanted a roommate, but I refuse to see an ex every day in the city too.” Youngjae smiled to ensure it came across as a joke, and Yongguk huffed out an amused breath.

“You all do seem desperate for new people here,” Yongguk said. “More people started talking to me here than in months back home.”

“Don’t mistake it for friendliness,” Youngjae warned. “We’re as much of assholes as everyone else, just like, nosy assholes.” 

That managed to make Yongguk laugh for real. He had a fantastic laugh, one that seemed to jump out of him and break how quiet and calming his voice had been for most of their conversation. Youngjae wanted to hear it again.

“I’m surprised Daehyun, at least, isn’t over here bothering you.” Surprised, but also a little grateful. And a little guilty, but that didn’t matter.

“He tried,” Yongguk admitted. He stole a glance over at the table, and Youngjae’s eyes automatically followed. He managed to meet Daehyun’s eyes again. Fuck. “I told him I had a boyfriend.”

Youngjae snorted. “I can guarantee he’s at least half-embarrassed that he came off as straight flirting and not just a giant puppy.”

“He was flustered.” Yongguk’s eyes dropped back to his laptop, and Youngjae took the opportunity to round up his shit and sit across from him. “Rebounded to asking about my boyfriend pretty quick, which was awkward, considering I don’t actually have one.”

Youngjae couldn’t hold back a surprised bark of laughter as he moved seats. “You lied about dating someone to get Dae off your back?” 

“I panicked.” Yongguk didn’t even seem like he could do panicked, but Youngjae nodded.

“I get it,” he said. “I did near the same to Jongup the other day.”

“Jongup?”

“Oh, uh, the other one up there.” Youngjae tilted his head towards the desk. He didn’t dare look over to catch their eyes again. Yongguk raised an eyebrow, clearly questioning his motives. “I’m trying my hand at writing, and he asked what it was about.”

“You write?” 

“I stare at blank paper and call that progress.”

“That counts,” Yongguk said. “It better, or else I don’t either.”

“That what you’re doing now?” Youngjae leaned a little over the table. He couldn’t see anything from behind the screen, of course, but Yongguk’s words had piqued his curiosity. 

Yongguk reflexively shifted the computer closer to him, his gaze darting to Youngjae before returning down. Youngjae backed off. 

“Kind of,” Yongguk said, finally. “I have something I’m messing with.”

Youngjae hummed. “Fine if you don’t answer—don’t like, create another fake boyfriend to side-step or anything—but what’re you writing about?”

Yongguk smiled. “Nothing yet. I’m writing a song and haven't gotten to the lyrics yet. It’s not a loud piece though; it feels—slow. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here.”

“Wanted some of that calming rural life? Sunsets, horses and this, that, and the other?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows. “Lemme guess: you’re disappointed.”

“Everyone keeps saying that to me, but—no. It’s so lively here.”

“Thought you wanted slow.”

Yongguk shrugged. “It’s hard to explain. It’s different but good. I like it. But anyway—” Yongguk hurried on like he worried Youngjae would disagree with him “—what about you? What are you writing about?”

Youngjae rolled with the change, groaning and pushing back in his chair. “That’s the thing. I've got no idea.”

“Well, what do you care about?”

Youngjae bit his lip, dropping his eyes to the web of ideas he’d forced from his head. None of them. He didn’t care about one of the things he’d written down.

“Here.” Yongguk took pity on him. “Think about it like this: what do you want?”

Youngjae snorted. “To leave here.”

“Then write about that.” Yongguk smiled at him.

Youngjae wished it was that easy.

\--

“Fancy seeing you here.” Youngjae slid into the seat next to Yongguk, grinning at him. He had his headphones on, and Youngjae thought his super smooth line was lost on him, considering he startled when Youngjae sat down.

The brief surprise faded from his eyes, and he smiled, pulling the headphones off one side. “How’s it?” 

“Uh?” It took Youngjae a moment to recognize what he meant, his eyebrows darting up his forehead. “Oh—good. I’m good. You?” Okay, so good was pushing it a little, but it’s not like Youngjae could tell him he was crying inside.

“A little stuck,” Yongguk said. He dropped his eyes back to his screen, a small line appearing between his brows. Youngjae’s eyes were drawn to it, and it took him a beat too long to realize Yongguk didn’t plan on saying more.

“Writing?” 

He hummed in a way Youngjae thought was an agreement, but he clearly wasn’t feeling the conversation. Youngjae grabbed his notebook out, looked at the scribbled lines he’d managed to force onto paper.

Despite knowing Yongguk was absorbed in his own work, he glanced over, his face reddening as his eyes found him. He’d taken Yongguk’s advice and had managed to scrawl out something a little less cliché, but it didn’t feel right.

Youngjae read through them a few times, grimacing. He’d wanted to end up with something at least vaguely heartfelt, but the words only seemed dry and lifeless. The due date for the contest was in a week, and well, Youngjae wasn’t going to make it.

It had been a stupid idea anyway.

Writing wasn’t easy, and yet, he’d thought he could power through something decent enough to have a shot. Should’ve known better. 

Youngjae pulled out his phone and fidgeted, not doing anything in particular. He died three times and nearly broke his high score on a game when someone—Daehyun—cleared his throat.

Dammit. 

“Oh hey, what’s up?” Youngjae smiled at him, hoping he wouldn’t stay long. He liked Daehyun, he really did, but it was too much. 

“As much as you’d expect on a Tuesday afternoon in a library.” Daehyun slid into the seat across from him. “You?” Youngjae tried to ignore the hopeful glint in his eyes.

“Nothing special.” He quirked one side of his mouth up and shrugged the shoulder on that side. “Getting work done.”

Something bright lit up in Daehyun’s eyes, and he grinned. “Right! You’re writing a thing for—” He cut off as though remembering a secret and cast a meaningful glance at Yongguk, raising his eyebrows.

…What?

Youngjae had started to shake his head and refute it, his mouth dropping open to inquire what the hell Daehyun meant, when it struck him. Oh fuck. He and Yongguk had literally both lied about boyfriends within a day or two of each other.

Youngjae shut his mouth. Swallowed. His eyes skated over to Yongguk and back to Daehyun. What the fuck did he say to that? He had to correct him—but also, that meant admitting he’d lied.

To Jongup, who was only trying to help him and was dating Junhong but didn’t hate him. Way to go, Youngjae. This would be the end of that. Not to mention that meant admitting the truth to Daehyun, whose longing to be in Youngjae’s life again was all but watermarked across his face.

“It’s not really for anyone… just took inspiration, I guess.” Youngjae did his best to sidestep the question. Yongguk still hadn’t looked up. “It’s more for--a contest.” Might as well admit that to avoid talking about Yongguk.

“So how you’d meet?” Well, so much for that idea. Daehyun was practically vibrating with curiosity, leaning closer. His motion rocked the table, and Yongguk glanced up. He noticed Daehyun and removed an earbud with a slightly hesitant smile.

Youngjae expected Daehyun to jump into questioning Yongguk and bit back a curse, but Daehyun kept his eyes firmly on Youngjae. His eyes slipped over, but he jerked them back before they had a chance to linger. Right. Yongguk had taken him as overly flirty last time. Daehyun likely was a little shy from that, especially if he thought Youngjae was the mythical boyfriend.

“Daehyun, we both have work, can you—?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess.” 

Youngjae buried a grimace at his response. For as too much as he was, he wasn’t a bad guy. Still, as usual, Daehyun recovered quickly. “You two probably want to spend time together too. Don’t know why you spend so much time in the library when you could be doing funner stuff.”

He sent them a small smirk, and his eyebrows wiggled a little. Youngjae’s face ignited with flames. He stole a look at Yongguk and saw his confusion. “You’re right,” Youngjae said, his words too fast and more than a little unnatural. “I should show him the town sometime.”

Daehyun rolled his eyes, apparently getting the picture that Youngjae wouldn’t let him have much fun with them. “Good luck with your work, and when you’re done come hang out because we’re dying over there. And by we I mean mostly me, so if you’re still avoiding Jongup you can still hang out, and he’ll probably just read.”

Daehyun knew damn well Youngjae wasn’t just avoiding Jongup. Of course he’d ignore that.

He stood and with a final grin, left to return to the circulation desk. Jongup sat there, book in hand. With the distance between them, Youngjae couldn’t read the title. 

“What was that about?” Oh god, right. Yongguk. Youngjae spun back to look at him, receiving a raised eyebrow in response.

“I think we—uh—accidentally implied we’re dating.”

“Pardon?” The other eyebrow joined the raised one. 

“Daehyun thinks we’re dating.”

Yongguk’s expression turned quizzical. “So you corrected him? Alright.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. Youngjae supposed it shouldn’t have been. 

“Not… really.” 

“You… didn’t correct him?” Yongguk’s eyes darted to the side like he was considering getting the hell away from Youngjae. Fuck. He held up his hands. 

“It was quick, sorry!” But that wasn’t right. “—And I don’t want them to think I lied.”

“But you did.”

“It was a misunderstanding!” 

“And you think the best way to handle that is to lie more?” Yongguk looked vaguely disapproving, and Youngjae grimaced. 

“When you put it like that…” Youngjae lowered his head. It had been stupid to lie to Jongup, but in the heat of the moment, well, he hadn’t known what else to do. Not only was Jongup with Junhong, but he was also an actual writer, and there Youngjae was—pretending to be one to try and win some money. 

He’d literally walked into the situation by figuring that writing couldn’t be that hard. There was no way in hell he was going to admit that to Jongup. Any of it. 

“Why do you care so much what they think of you?”

Youngjae snorted. “I don’t give a damn.”

Yongguk was silent, his gaze focused on Youngjae’s face until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, fine. So I care. You would too if you lived here.”

“But it’s more than that?” 

“Why do you care?” Youngjae snapped. “Look, I’ll just go up and tell them—”

“You don’t have to.”

“What?” 

Yongguk sighed. He pulled his other earbud out, finally, and closed his laptop. “You don’t have to.”

“I heard you perfectly fine.” Youngjae crossed his arms. “You literally just said I was lying if I don’t.”

“You are.” Great. Comforting. Youngjae opened his mouth to snap back, but Yongguk held up a hand. “And I don’t get it, but clearly it’s important to you.”

Did he really just say he’d play along? “…So what?” Youngjae tried to not look overly suspicious.

“I’m only here for another ten days. I won’t deny it.” Yongguk shrugged. “No skin off my back.”

Youngjae frowned. “Are you sure? I can get you out of it at least—Daehyun had literally no reason to think you meant someone here and not in the city.” 

Now Yongguk avoided his eyes. “I said I met him through Himchan.”

“Why? Wait—” Youngjae’s eyes narrowed. “Why did you lie? Like I know Dae’s a bit much, but he’s not, like, forceful or anything. Especially not with someone new.”

“I… no offense, but that’s not your business.”

“Oh, geez, alright.” Youngjae held his hands up. “Sorry for pushing… but anyway, so we’re dating? Kinda?”

Yongguk chuckled. “This has got to be the sloppiest way I’ve ever been asked out.”

Youngjae blushed. “Shut up,” he muttered. “You’re no better.”

\--

Yongguk was more observant with his headphones in than most people realized. That included Youngjae, who had taken one look at him then hurried to sit on the opposite side of the library. 

He smiled as he shut his laptop, amused despite himself. When he’d first spotted Youngjae, he’d recalled an old conversation with Himchan.

‘Youngjae’s absolutely fucking insane, that’s what he is,’ Himchan had said, but he had smiled as he said it. Yongguk had always enjoyed hearing stories about Youngjae, and well, it was a bit of a thrill that within two days of him meeting him, he’d gotten pulled into something ridiculous.

Agreeing to fake-date Youngjae definitely qualified as crazy.

He would’ve never done it in the city. His friends there would probably laugh at the idea of him playing along. 

(“Yongguk? Deceive people like that? Never!”) 

But here he was. 

So he packed his laptop into his bag and pursued Youngjae into the stack of books. He found him at a table clearly made for kids. It was bright blue, and Youngjae’s knees hit it, so he’d spread his legs wide to get as comfortable as possible.

As Yongguk lingered, Youngjae yawned and arched until his back cracked. Yongguk’s eyes traced the curve of his spine, until he got a grip and looked away.

He didn’t know quite what to say, so without a word, he moved over and sat across from Youngjae, who startled and stared at him, a blush growing on his face. 

“Oh—uh, I figured you were busy,” Youngjae said. He scratched at his arm, then seemed to realize what his hand was doing and dropped it under the table. Yongguk saw his gaze trail over him, lingering on his chest, where his tattoo poked out over his shirt.

Youngjae seemed to be many things, but subtle wasn’t one of them. 

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” 

Youngjae nodded. “Figured since I all but forced you to date me, you’d rather—”

“You didn’t,” Yongguk said. Youngjae’s brow furrowed. “Force me. I was perfectly capable of saying no.”

“Why then?” A smile played around on Youngjae’s lips. “Don’t hate me for saying it, but you seem a tad above it all.” 

Above it? Yongguk blinked a couple times. “Did you just call me pretentious?”

Youngjae tilted his head, as though to see him better. His eyes were narrowed and very, very focused on Yongguk. He willed a blush from forming on his cheeks. “Nah, but you’ve got that whole city feel about you.”

Yongguk didn’t know what that meant, but he nodded, figuring he’d accept it.

“What about me?” Youngjae said, grinning so brightly that Yongguk felt it thump him on the chest. “What’s your judgment?”

He shook his head mutely. 

“C’mon.” Youngjae chuckled. “You gotta have something.”

“I try not to form opinions before—”

Youngjae tilted his head back and laughed, his knee striking the table and making it jerk off the ground. Yongguk stabilized Youngjae’s notebook to keep it from sliding off. “And there’s the fucking city in you.” Youngjae could barely speak for how hard he laughed, all gasping giggles and much too loud for a library. “You’re so—god, I don’t even have words.”

Yongguk pushed down a small amount of offense, awkwardly pulling at his shirt. He hoped Youngjae would explain. 

“You don’t act at all like I’d expect from how you look though,” Youngjae said. He’d regained control and scanned Yongguk again. “You look pretentious, but like, you really mean it too. It’s not a show for you, is it?”

Yongguk shook his head again. 

“God, I thought you were just playing cool at first, but you’re so quiet. I’m used to people yelling back at me.”

“I thought you were shy at first, so looks like we were both wrong.” Yongguk didn’t know what had happened, but somehow Youngjae’s personality had seemed to one-eighty before his eyes. In the past days, he’d been blushing and unsure and awkward. 

He'd also been the person to lie about dating someone to avoid questions. Yongguk pursed his lips. “Now, if you’re like this, then why do you have to hide behind a fake boyfriend?”

Youngjae’s smile faded, and he looked away. Yongguk’s heart sank as he watched Youngjae stack his walls again.

“You don’t know me.” 

“That’s why I’m asking.”

Youngjae huffed, shifting in his seat. He looked around as though ensuring no one else was around and leaned closer to Yongguk, over the ridiculous sky-blue table. “Maybe you’re different.”

“I’m just a guy. Nothing special about me.”

“Exactly.” Youngjae smiled. “You’re 'just a guy' not from here. You don’t remember stuff about me. I can be whoever, and you can’t be like ‘wow, you’ve changed so much’ because you don’t know.” He curled his shoulders as he finished, clearing his throat and lowering his voice, which had continued to increase in volume. “Can’t fuck up no expectations, right?”

That one Yongguk could understand. He, too, had formed a character for himself throughout school. When he’d gone to university, it had dissipated more completely than if he’d smashed it to pieces.

It hadn't been him, after all; it had been a mask.

The idea of holding that up for years strangled him.

“You’re welcome to act any way you’d like with me. But—explain the ‘city feel’ thing to me first.”

Youngjae’s smile grew tighter, more forced. “It’s a little rude,” he said, his eyes flickering anywhere but Yongguk’s face. “Means you’re all polished. Like ‘I don’t form opinions ‘till I know people’—like who actually does that? No one here, for sure. And you look all artsy."

“I look… artsy?”

Youngjae nodded. “Like you’re about to go on about free tuition for universities or something.”

Yongguk chuckled, but well, he did support that. “Are you saying you don’t agree with that?”

“I mean, sure why not,” Youngjae said. “But—I’d like to have clean water first. Or like, real teachers. All we’ve got here is dead-ends. Even the people who leave come back and most can’t get out at all.”

Free college would’ve helped him get out, but that wasn’t the point. Yongguk tried to come up with something generally supportive. “You’ll get out.” He hated the words even as he said them. “If you want to.”

Youngjae snorted. “Sometimes you need more than hope.” He paused. “That’s what I was trying. With the writing. I want to win contests or—or like, get a freelancing job or something.” Youngjae snuck a glance at Yongguk, and the uncertainty in his eyes hurt Yongguk’s heart. “It’s stupid, I know. But I've got to try.”

At least here he knew how to start. “It’s not stupid.” Yongguk watched him. All the jumps in personality sent him reeling. Himchan had once ranted to him that understanding Youngjae was impossible, and Yongguk both understood that and disagreed. It seemed Youngjae had a hard time being anyone but him, no matter how hard he tried. “Writing’s a good skill to have.”

“But I don’t even have anything to write about,” Youngjae said. He snorted. “I’m not poetic or whatever. It's not how my head works.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Yongguk said. Youngjae tried to look bored, but he also couldn’t pull his eyes off Yongguk’s face. He recognized that expression. Hope. “You don’t need anything like that for it. All you need is to write about what matters to you.”

“I just want to be gone from here.”

It was almost a direct echo of what he’d said the other day, but he saw Youngjae in a totally different light. He gave the same answer as before. “Write about that.”

This time he thought Youngjae might do it.

\--

“Why do you come here if you want to avoid them so much?” Yongguk had found Youngjae in the library again when he arrived the next day. He nodded at the circulation desk as he spoke, where Daehyun had curled up with a book. 

Youngjae didn’t even bother to look over. “My house is crazy.” He shrugged. “My mom runs a daycare, and they’re loud. All the time.”

Yongguk hummed. “My neighbors have a couple kids, and they’re like that. Usually wake me up by eight.”

“Rough, dude.” Youngjae’s face twisted into a grimace. “Do you work then? I work night shifts, so waking up early’s even worse.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m usually up in the morning. Would like a day or two to sleep in though.“

Before Youngjae could respond, Daehyun cleared his throat. He’d come up behind Yongguk, and Youngjae startled as though he hadn’t seen him either. 

“Hey,” Daehyun said, grinning. “You guys are here early.”

Youngjae shrugged. “I guess.” Daehyun's smile lost some of its volume.

“Can I join?” His voice was soft. “It’s quiet today, and I’m bored.”

Before Youngjae could answer, Yongguk interrupted. “Sure,” he said. “Himchan’s told me about you. It’ll be nice to meet you better.”

“Himchan’s told you about me?” A smile split across Daehyun’s face, and Yongguk wondered if everyone in the town was as obvious as the ones he’d met. 

Yongguk nodded. He didn’t dare say exactly what Himchan had told him—which was mostly insults and then several grumbled reiterations that Daehyun had the greatest smile he’d ever seen.

Daehyun slipped into the seat. He and Youngjae avoided each other’s gaze. “So how’d you two meet?” Daehyun gestured between them but addressed Yongguk. Youngjae hadn’t looked up from his sullen glaring at the table.

“Oh—through Himchan, of course,” Yongguk said. He laughed awkwardly. “It wasn’t too long ago that we—yeah.” Oh, so smooth, Yongguk. At least it had curbed the possible question of if they’d met while Himchan had dated Youngjae.

Youngjae snorted. His eyes shone with amusement, and he pressed his lips together tightly to hold a laugh in. “So eloquent,” he teased. Yongguk had to smile at him. 

The smile felt real on his lips, even if Youngjae’s casualness was fake. The thought cut off his grin’s lifeline, and it dripped like running paint off his face. 

Daehyun seemed the pick up on the tension. “Distance is a bitch, hmm?” One side of his mouth lifted into a sad smile. “Got me last time.” 

“It can be hard,” Youngjae lied. He was good at the lying, or Yongguk didn’t yet know how to read him. Either was possible. “But we make it through.”

“I can’t believe you never told any of us!” Daehyun said, shoving Youngjae’s shoulder with his hand. 

Youngjae shifted away from Daehyun’s touch, but he seemed to not notice. “Didn’t see a reason to. You guys know enough about my life as is.”

It was Daehyun’s turn to look unsure, his hand dropping from Youngjae’s shoulder. He swallowed visibly, his eyes darting to Yongguk before returning to Youngjae. “You can’t keep doing this,” he said. Yongguk couldn’t help but pay attention as Youngjae stiffened.

“You sure about that?”

“Youngjae—” He nearly yelled, only to cut himself off and clear his throat, calming down with a loud huff. “You’ve got no right—" 

“Daehyun. Stop.” 

Daehyun opened his mouth to ignore him, but Yongguk caught his eye and shook his head. He closed his mouth, swallowed, and said, “right. I’m just gonna—go then.” 

He left them, returning to the circulation table and his book. His arms were crossed, his back stiff, but it wasn’t hard to tell the tension came more from sadness than anger. 

Youngjae stared after him, only for Daehyun to stare back the moment he looked away.

“What was that about?” Yongguk asked, keeping his voice down in case Daehyun could hear.

Youngjae sighed. “No offense, but I’ve known you for like three days. You don’t get to hear my life story. Not when you won’t even tell me why you lied about a boyfriend.”

“Himchan likes Daehyun.” Yongguk had a moment of uncertainty about sharing this information with his cousin’s ex, but if he’d seen anything, it was that Youngjae was long past Himchan. “I couldn’t let him flirt with me.”

“That’s all? Really?” Youngjae laughed. “Here I thought I wasn’t the only insecure bitch, but you were being _considerate.”_ He spat it like a curse.

“Don’t say that,” Yongguk said. His words were weak but enough to stop him. 

Youngjae took a shuddering breath. “I’m being stupid,” he said. “There’s just a lot going on.”

“Sounds like it,” Yongguk said. “Were you and Daehyun close?”

Youngjae had such an obvious debate about telling him that Yongguk could’ve narrated it. “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice quiet and hoarse. “He used to be my best friend.”

“Used to?”

“He left for four years. Like, we talked, I guess, but—” He tilted his gaze down to the table. “And now he’s back, like nothing ever changed.”

“Seems he wants to fix things.”

Youngjae’s words were mumbled when he next spoke. “Too late. It doesn’t matter now.”

Yongguk grew bold. He reached across the table and lifted Youngjae’s chin so he’d look at him. Youngjae didn’t flinch away, so he held him up. “It does matter,” he said. His voice was so quiet he suspected Youngjae had to strain to hear it. “You should talk to him sometime.” 

Youngjae swallowed, and Yongguk gave into the urge to run his thumb along Youngjae’s cheek. His eyes closed, and he let Yongguk run his fingers along his face. 

“You know you’re your hardest judge, don’t you?”

“You know you’re absolutely crazy, right?” Youngjae’s eyes opened, and they were too bright, but he was also smiling. “But you’re also good.” His hand found Yongguk’s, and he tugged it from his face. 

Youngjae kept eye contact with Yongguk as he kissed the inside of his wrist. It took all of Yongguk’s self-control to keep from moving his hand back to Youngjae’s face again.

\--

“That was the most awkward experience of my life.”

Yongguk shook his head, unable to keep a smile off his face even as Youngjae buried his in his hands. “It wasn’t that bad.”

Youngjae shook his head without raising it. Yongguk took the initiative to move closer, until he was within a step of him. His hair was fluffy and messy, mussed from the wind. What Yongguk could see of his cheeks was stained red, though from the wind or the embarrassment, he didn’t know. Youngjae’s hands were also red from the harsh weather.

Yongguk grabbed his hand and removed it from his face. Youngjae went all stiff when he touched him but let him remove his hand. “She just remembered you.”

“’Cause of me and Himchan! And now I’m here with you.”

Yongguk had, admittedly, forgotten about Himchan’s parents when he’d invited Youngjae to their house. Still, Youngjae was overreacting. “Seems like she likes you.” 

“She must not remember me well…”

Yongguk laughed, pulling Youngjae forward towards his bed. “C’mon. You said you wanted to get work done.”

“That’s code for me wanting to procrastinate.”

“I figured—otherwise you would’ve turned me down.” He’d been a little surprised when Youngjae took him up so easily, but he hadn’t questioned it.

Youngjae took a seat on his bed, pulling his laptop out. He opened a file and stole a quick glance at Yongguk. Fuck, he’d been staring. Yongguk looked away.

“Can you like—not read over my shoulder? Sorry—it’s just…”

“I get it.” Yongguk stopped his half-formed explanation. “I won’t.”

Youngjae nodded and shot him a grateful smile, his eyes crinkling and his cheeks only becoming rounder. Yongguk had to force himself to look away.

For a while, they worked in silence. Despite Yongguk’s mental insistence that he would do work, his eyes wandered to Youngjae every-so-often. And by every-so-often, he meant most of the time. 

Youngjae was complicated, was good at being himself. He had a way of switching between personalities that made Yongguk curious, all wrapped in a package of over-the-top laughter and smiles.

Youngjae’s feet swung off the edge of the bed, back-and-forth, slowly. Yongguk watched them, careful to avert his eyes from Youngjae’s screen. He was damn curious, but he understood the privacy writing deserved all too well.

“Here I thought I was the procrastinator.” Youngjae smirked.

“It’s a talent shared by many.” 

That managed to pull a full smile out of Youngjae, who turned to look at him. He caught Yongguk’s eye and paused, his tongue licking his bottom lip before he spoke. “You’re staring.”

He was, but he found he didn’t care. “Yeah.” Not the greatest response, but he’d work with it. “You don’t mind.”

“That’s a big assumption there.” But Youngjae slid closer. He turned and set his laptop on the bed behind him before reaching for Yongguk’s too. Once it was out of the way, Youngjae’s hand—tentative but still enough for Yongguk to freeze under his grip—grabbed his.

“Can I kiss you?” Youngjae’s words were mumbled, near inaudible. 

Yongguk’s breathe caught, trapped in his chest. He considered making a counter-joke about Youngjae's assumptions but decided to lean forward and press his lips against Youngjae’s instead. Yongguk didn’t immediately close his eyes, first taking time to appreciate how he could barely see Youngjae’s closed eyes, how his eyelashes cast little shadows on his skin. 

His hand moved to press between Youngjae’s shoulder blades. He moved back to speak, remaining close enough that Youngjae’s fast breaths hit his skin. “So this escalated.” His voice was a little shaky. "I wouldn't call this fake-dating."

Youngjae snorted, and the air hit Yongguk’s cheek. “Nothing wrong with that, long as you mean it now.”

Before he could assure him that yes, he certainly did, Himchan flung the door open.

“Yongguk, why did Daehyun think you were dating—Oh my god.”

Yongguk couldn’t even find it in himself to feel guilty.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr :)](https://onlystraightforjongup.tumblr.com/)


End file.
